Dear journal
by misha10400
Summary: Becca has been in love with Dean since the moment they met. She hid it pretty well for years until Sam found out. It's too late Dean's in love with Fiona. Love is blinding. But let's see if Dean will be able to see clearly.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh my god Sammy!" Rebecca yelled.

"You're welcome Becca." Said Sam very sarcastically.

"Where did you get these cookies, you giant puppy?" Asked Becca not even acknowledging his sass.

"This bakery in town. They have the best baked goods." Said Sam proudly.

"Damn and a pie too which I'm guessing is for Dean." Said Becca with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"You can have some we won't be needing much." Said Fiona with a suggestive wink.

"Oooh pie!" Said Dean excitedly.

"Yeah it's all yours." Said Sam really blandly.

"Thanks." Said Dean as he and Fiona took the pie and left.

"Ok now that was gross and annoying." Said Becca while she made a retching sound.

"Tell me about it. Are you good?" Asked Sam.

"Yeah I will be. All I can think of is wringing her neck. She's such a horrible bitch."

"I wish I could do something but he's in love and love is blinding. When I was with Jess she was dirty but I didn't even care because nothing else mattered." Said Sam with tears in his eyes.

"No way. You are Mr. Neat Freak. But I get it. Love makes us overlook many things." Said Becca with tears.

"I miss her so much. Every time I think about her everything hurts. I wanted to spend my life with her. I wanted us to be together forever but that didn't happen." Said Sam crying.

"From what I hear she was a good person and she would want you to be happy and live your life as much as possible, but all we can do now is fight the bad. And try to make a difference. All I know is she would be proud of you. Sam you are the best and you guys will be together again one day." Said Becca while she held Sam as they both cried. When Sam fell asleep she got her journal and started writing a journal entry. She put her journal away and went back to join Sam on the couch and then fell asleep.

 _January 5,2016_

 _Dear journal,_

 _I love Dean. Ever since the moment i met him. I hid it well for years until Sam found out. But Dean is with Fiona. If she was a nice person i could live with it but shes a horrible human being. Sam is so supportive and he always has my back. Most people would say we were together, but that would never happen. We are just too good of friends and he has not loved anyone that way since Jess. I really hope he gets the happiness he's entitled to. With everything he's been through and all the good he does he deserves to be happy._

 **A/N:The italics are Becca's journal entry**


	2. Chapter 2

"Baby I'm preying on you tonight hunt you down eat you alive just like animals- oh." Becca was listening to music and accidentally bumped into Fiona.

"Oh shit I am so sorry. I didn't see you." Becca apologized.

"Yeah right! I know you're jealous but goddamn." Snarled Fiona.

"Excuse me?" Said Becca really peeved.

"You'll never be good enough." Snarled Fiona.

"Nobody is jealous of you and if you'll excuse me I'll be on my way." Said Becca as she walked away.

Sam bumped into her as she stalked angrily to her room. "Hey." Said Sam but she walked right past him until he caught her hand.

"Hey what happened?" Asked Sam.

"I was singing and dancing around and I bumped into Fiona when I apologized she got all bitchy. She said that I'm jealous and I'll never be good enough. I have it recorded. Here listen" Responded Becca. Sam got visibly angry as he listened.

'Who the hell does she think she is? She had no right." Said Sam really angrily.

"Sam please don't it's ok I'll-." She was cut off as Sam stalked angrily to find Fiona.

Dean and Fiona were in the library. "Hey Sammy." Said Dean. "This book is so riveting." Said Fiona. By the time Becca got there Sam had already started.

"Who do you think you are? You had no right to say those things to her. Especially since it was accidental. And don't you deny it because she has it recorded!" Yelled Sam.

"Ease up Sammy." Said Dean.

"No I'm not going to. Why am I even wasting my breath? You have your head so far up your ass you can't even see straight!" Yelled Sam.

"Sam just stop it's ok. Don't do this because we won't be able to go back." Intervened Becca

"You did not deserve that. Wait do you think you did?" Said Sam concerned.

"Hell no I did not deserve that but I don't even care because It doesn't matter." Said Becca.

"Yes it does matter. You may not be my sister by blood but you are my sister. You are family and you've saved our lives so many times. You're a great person who will always be good enough and more. More than we could deserve." Said Sammy.

"How the hell do you do it? Your goddamn speeches." Said Becca really sarcastically but she couldn't hold those tears back.

"I'm going to do something and you're gonna hate me but it'll be worth it because you love me." Said Becca.

"What are you gonna do?" Said Sam really cautiously.

"You'll see. I'll be back in a few days and you won't have to test us or anything well you might have to." Said Becca.

Everyone was confused by this situation As they tried to figure out what was going on. By the time Sam figured it out she was long gone. They had no way to get to her.

"Dean! I know what she's going to do." Sam yelled.

"What happened?" Asked Dean.

"She's going to sell her soul to bring someone back. The crossroads summoning spell is gone." Said Sam really frantically.

"Oh no. Who is she dealing for?" asked Dean.

"Well for me but who?' Said Sam as they tried to figure it out.

Becca took one of the cars in the garage and was on her way to bring Jess back.

 _January 8,2016_

 _Dear journal,_

 _Well today was horrible. She told me that I'll never be good enough for Dean. Well I don't believe that, I'm fucking awesome. But I don't even care anymore. She can't put me down. I know that I am a good person and I help people. Sometimes life doesn't go my way but it's okay because there is always tomorrow. Well for hunters not really but having hope is what keeps me alive. Well not for long as im about to sell my soul to bring Jess back. I don't even care what'll happen to me just as long as those boys are as happy as they made me throughout the years. Even if one of them is now an asshole._


	3. Chapter 3

"It's been four days Sam. Where the hell is she?" Asked Dean very frustrated.

"I'm looking. I have no idea who she's bringing back let alone where she is." Responded Sam equally if not more frustrated.

"This is all your fault anyways. She's going to bring someone back for you." Said Dean angrily.

"This is not my fault. I was being a good friend. I was there all the nights she cried and helped her while you were screwing whoever the hell you wanted to, not even caring about her!" Sam yelled to an ignorant Dean.

"Oh please why would I care? She barely speaks to me, probably from you telling her how bad of a person I am. She loves you not me." Dean responded.

"You do love her. You are so stupid. I have never told her you were a bad person. She barely speaks to you because she sees what she can't have. She is head over heels for you. And she deserves someone who cares and loves her the way she loves and cares about us especially you." Said Sam.

"Sammy I never thought she could love me. I see you guys and I thought you had a thing so I tried to move on. I like Fiona but, I'm not in love with her. I'm going to end it and we're going to find Becca before she sells her soul." Dean said.

Sam was now relieved that he knows their exact feelings. Now he is only worried about how they're going to find Becca and if they could be too late.

"Hey Fiona, can we talk?" Dean asked cautiously.

"Sure. What's up?" Fiona said.

"I want to break up." Said Dean flatly.

"What! Why?" Said Fiona very dramatically with tears.

"I love someone else and I'm sorry." Dean said.

"Who is it?" Fiona asked with venom in her voice.

"Becca." Dean gulped.

"I am leaving and you are so stupid." Said Fiona as she emptied her drawer's into duffels and left the bunker walking straight past Sam.

"Good ridden." Said Sam a little happy.

"Ok that's done let's go find Becca." Said Dean and Sam couldn't agree anymore.

Meanwhile Becca was summoning Crowley to see if he would help before she sold her soul. He was always nice to her because she hadn't done anything to him.

"Bloody hell! Oh Becca sweetheart. Where are moose and squirrel?" Asked Crowley.

"They don't know I'm here." Said Becca a little terrified.

"Why have you called me?" Asked Crowley.

"I need you to bring someone back. Can you do it?" Asked Becca still terrified.

"Depends on who. Now who exactly is it you want me to bring back?" Asked Crowley.

"Jessica Moore. Sam's girlfriend from college." Said Becca.

"Well I can make it happen but you have to do something." Crowley said while smirking.

"Name it. I'm ready to do anything." Said Becca a little relieved but still terrified.

"You don't have to do anything. I'm just messing with you doll face." Said Crowley.

"Are you serious? What's the catch Crowley?" Becca asked.

"Fine you'll owe me a favor a little one. None that involve your soul or you. Well part of you. Your brain in particular. You're one of the best researcher's out there. I'll be calling." Said Crowley.

"Ok. Now can you bring her back?" Becca asked again.

"Give me an hour. I'll be back." Said Crowley.

"Sam and Dean cannot know about this. If they summon you say nothing about this." Said Becca very sternly.

"Alright sweetheart see you in a bit." Said Crowley.

Becca went back to the motel and waited. As she waited she wrote in her journal.

 _January 11,2016_

 _Dear journal,_

 _Sam and Cas are the most amazing friends/brothers anyone can have. I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. It makes my life worth living. I do miss Bobby. That old man knew everything and was better than us all. Uncle Rufus and his knowledge of scotch came in handy in these situations. Pamela always knew well everything. Jo, Ellen, and Ash were family. I miss them all like crazy. I might see them soon since I'm selling my soul. I know I'm stupid but I'm never going to find the happiness I want. Sam deserves a second chance with jess. He may not think he does but he truly deserves a meaningful life. Not the hunter life he never wanted but a life full of laughter and kids and pure happiness. Dean deserves the same but he's just as stubborn as Sam. I might not be the one who gives him happiness but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it. He is still kind of an ass though._

Meanwhile Sam and Dean summoned Crowley.

"Heya Crowley." Said Dean.

"Bloody hell. Moose, Squirrel where's doll face?" Asked Crowley.

"She's gone. We think she's selling her soul. Do you know anything?" Asked Sam.

"No. She better not. If she succeeds that demon shall be put to death. Now let me go I have important business to attend to." Said Crowley.

"Alright Crowley now if you are holding anything back-." Dean was cut off by Crowley.

"You'll torture me then kill me. Same old thing with you two. Now can you please let me go?" Said Crowley.

"All right here you go." Said Sam.

Crowley zapped away. Leaving the boys to figure a new plan. It had been well over an hour and Becca was becoming impatient. She was about to call Crowley when he zapped in with Jessica.

"Well here we are. Jessica this is Becca." Said Crowley.

"Crowley thank you, but can you go now we have to talk?" Asked Becca.

"Alright then I'll be on my way." Crowley said leaving Jessica with you.

"Where am I?" Asked Jessica.

"You're in Kansas and I'm Becca, By the way it's 2016." Said Becca.

"No way. But what happened. I was at this roadhouse in heaven and now I'm here." Said Jess.

"Hold on. Roadhouse? Harvelle's Roadhouse?"

"Yes that's the one. Oh my god are you Becca as in Rebecca Patterson?" Asked jess.

"Yes that's me. How do you know about me?" Asked Becca

"Jo and everyone told me about you. Thank you for taking care of Sam for me. Now I'm not the jealous type. I know you love Sam just not in that way. But my god you are head over heels for Dean." Said Jess.

"How do you know so much?" Asked Becca.

"Well we couldn't see you guys all the time but we got snippets, little summaries of everything that has happened."

"Wow that's-." Said Becca as she was cut off by the boys opening the door.

"Becca what the hell?" Said Dean as Sam just stared at Jessica.

"Ok Dean let's give them some time." Said Becca as she ushered Dean out of the room.

"Are you gonna say something Sam?" Asked Jess.

"I missed you so much." Said Sam.

"I missed you too." Said Jess.

They didn't say much after that. While they were reuniting Becca and Dean went to get a bite.

"Oh these tacos are so good." Said Becca.

"I broke up with Fiona." Said Dean.

Now Becca nearly choked on her taco.

"You did?" Asked Becca.

"Yes I did. I did it because I um I love you." Said Dean. While Becca paused thinking he was joking and the busted out laughing.

"You're joking right. Please tell me you're joking?" Said Becca.

"I'm not joking. I love you." Said Dean.

"Ok this is, um this is really um-." She was cut off as dean got up and kissed her.

It was passionate and warm. She had always wondered what his lips felt like. Now she knew, they were soft and sweet. Now he knew what her lips felt like as well.

"Woah." Said Becca as they finally stopped for air.

"Woah." Said Dean as well.

"Now that was nice but I'm tired. We should continue this in the morning." Said Becca.

"I second that." Said Dean as he grabbed her and went to him and Sam's room


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Becca and Dean were exhausted. They had to listen to Jess and Sam for a few hours and when those two stopped another couple started.

"Morning guys." Said Sam who was extra energized.

"Morning." Said Jess similarly. "Guys can we say something?" Asked Becca.

"Sure. What's up?" Said Sam.

"Ok next time we're getting rooms as far away as possible from each other." Said Becca.

"Yeah you bunnies listen up. Now I know you haven't seen each other in forever but please keep it down. That's all. Now let's go home." Said Dean.

Dean and Becca drove the impala while Sam and Jess drove the car Becca took, back to the bunker. Sam and Jess cuddled in silence while Dean and Becca talked.

"So what's gonna happen now?" Asked Dean.

"We go home and relax then you take me on a date." Said Becca.

"Ok, where do you wanna go?" Asked Dean.

"Anywhere surprise me. Just let me know how to dress." Said Becca.

"Alright." Said Dean.

He started to plan it right then. He knew exactly what to do and where they were going. He knows Becca likes to stay indoors but this will be perfect. They were gonna picnic under the stars. They were finally home.

"Casual." Said Dean

"What?" Asked Becca.

"Dress casually, we leave at eight."

"Alrighty then." Said Becca.

She knew exactly what she wanted to wear. She didn't have to impress him. Sam and Jess got there a few minutes before them. Sam and Jess spent the day talking and relaxing while Becca and Cas chilled and watched movies. Dean was cooking and getting everything ready.

"Cas I have to get ready now." Said Becca.

"Ok I'll see you later." Said Cas.

The angel went poof. Becca went to her room and put on some really nice joggers with a cute top and jacket. No boots or heels just some comfortable memory foam sneakers. She put on some concealer and powder with light blush and a peachy lip.

"Hey woah you look beautiful." Said Dean a little struck.

"Really? Thanks I guess."

"No you look very beautiful." Said Dean once again.

"Thank you. Now can we go?" Asked Becca.

Becca and Dean just enjoyed the ride occasionally chatting but the night was just too beautiful to ignore.

"We're here." Said Dean snapping Becca out her thoughts.

"Oh my god it is gorgeous out here and look at the stars." Said Becca.

Dean got the stuff out of the trunk and set everything up while Becca admired the stars.

"When did you find this place?" Asked Becca.

"One day when me and Sam were coming back we stopped for a second and when I looked up the sky was changing from orange to pink. I just saw it."

"This just reminds me of this place me and Andre use to go to be rebellious. Dad was rarely home and mom did the best she could. We just hated him and what he did to mom. Me and Andre use to go there and just run and smoke weed and be stupid with our friends. One time we were gonna light fireworks but we got caught. Sam told me about the fourth of july that you guys lit fireworks in a field. That must have been fun. I've actually never seen fireworks in person."

"It was. It was worth it. The look on his face was priceless." Said Dean.

"One time we sat and just painted. He just smiled. He was so happy that day. You know that painting of a bluebird I have in my room?" Asked Becca.

"Yeah."

"Andre did that. When he passed I dreamed he added his initials AP on the bottom. When I woke up they were on the painting."

"He was there with you. That bluebird is a little puffy though." Said Dean.

"I know." Said Becca laughing.

"You are great you know that. The way you care about people. And the way you smile and my god you can eat. I'm so lucky." Said Dean.

"That you are. I'm a great catch."

They ended the night watching the stars and clouds while eating of course. They got back to the bunker to find a very surprising sight.

"Can I tell you something you something before we go in?" Asked Becca.

"Sure."

"I love you and nothing will ever change that. I need you to stop hating yourself. I know we've done bad things but we've done a lot of good. Tonight was amazing and I want to see this side of you more."

"I love you and I'll try."

"Ok." Said Becca.

"Is there a fucking party goin on we don't know about?" Asked Dean.

"I Know let me turn it off." Sad Becca.

As soon as the music stopped you heard what was happening in the kitchen. There was Sam and Jess on the counter. Naked.

"OH MY GOD! WE EAT THERE!" Yelled Becca.

"Put it away Sam my god." Said Dean.

"Sorry guys." Said Jess while.

"Yeah we're really sorry." Said Sam.

"It's fine just not in the kitchen please." Said Becca.

"I just cleaned in here now I have to burn it down." Said Dean.

"We're really sorry." Said Jess.

Dean and Becca spent the rest of the night sterilizing the kitchen and even called Cas to use his mojo. While Sam and Jess continued what they were doing.


End file.
